The start of something new

So we are now on day 5 of our saline trial for the insulin pump.  Megan has come through it with flying colors!  The first day or so was rough, she was upset because the infusion site was more painful than she anticipated.  Dad is also sporting a saline filled Animas Ping - our doctor thinks it is important for the parents to really understand what the kids will be feeling. I think he is struggling with it more than Megan is!  After the second day, we changed the infusion site and she seems more comfortable with it now. 

I, however, am struggling with the pump.  I feel like we are starting over again with my fear of inserting the infusion sites.  Just like my initial fear of giving her injections. :)  Now that is second nature so I know I will get there! 

I also know the pump will help her stay healthier and keep her blood sugars under better control.  But something about seeing it tethered to her makes me want to cry.  It just brings the finality of this disease never going away to the forefront of my mind.  I am constantly in awe of how she handles every change and new part of her treatment with such courage and acceptance.  She is my inspiration to keep my emotions in check and keep chugging down our D road.  She actually told me the other day that having T1 is what makes her unique.  What I wanted to tell her, and every other T1 child I know, is that their incredible courage, resilience and amazing spirit is more of what makes them unique to me.  The poem about God giving certain parents a diabetic child makes me think about how only certain children get or have T1.  And how every one of the kiddos I know personally or know of is absolutely amazing.

Obviously, I am feeling a bit mushy today :).  I watch her growing up into an almost teenager and wonder how things will change as she gets older.  As of now, she wants to be a nurse that specializes in pediatric endocrinology so she can help other kids as her nurses have helped her.  Who knows if that will stick?  But I love that she wants to do it. 

So, we will continue on our pump path!  And watch her proudly wear it and know that it will all work out for her in the end.