The day to day worry of a T1 parent

I thought I was doing pretty well with giving Megan space to be a pre-teen who just happens to also have type 1 diabetes.  I am a bit type A and have a hard time letting her go.  Little by little, with each success and step, I have been trying to step back and give her some room.

But then another reality hits.  You read about type 1 teens dying in their sleep.  How can I possibly relax and let her have some space when you hear things like that?  How do these things happen?  I secretly hope that it was because of a concrete reason that doesn't affect us; like lack of care, another underlying condition or a medical mistake.  Seems wrong to hope these things, but I almost need to know these things so I can sleep at night.  But the answer is not there - I don't know if anyone knows why it happens.  It's just another reality of what this disease can do.  How deadly it can be.  But, in order to keep my sanity and keep moving, I have to just know that we are caring for Megan in the very best way we possibly can and that you can't control everything.  I have to believe that we are doing well, and Megan is going to be okay.  To wonder about the other side, the possibilities that these other poor families have faced, would be too much.

I guess its two steps ahead, one step back for my coping with this disease and its management.  I am so glad that Megan doesnt seem to feel any of this stress.  I don't let her know about these teen deaths, I don't think it is productive for her to be scared.  As long as she is taking care of herself and managing her diabetes as the doctors directed, that is all we can do.
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